Keeping our passengers safe in the air
Welcome
aboard. It's 2007, and we are more committed to your safety then ever. And that's why we'd like you to pay
careful attention to this important safety information.
["No Smoking", "Fasten Seat Belt", and "Life Jacket Under Seat" are shown]
First, please make sure that your seatbelt is securely fastened. Seatbelts can be purchased for 5 dollars. To fasten, insert the metal fitting into the buckle and tighten the buckle by pulling the loose end away from you. To release, purchase a release flap for 7 dollars. Now I know what you're thinking: we've never paid for seatbelts before! ...Once we've reached our cruising altitude, your flight attendant may or may not go down the aisle with snacks. If she chooses to, each passenger will be given a single peanut. Lavatories are located at the front and the rear...of the airport. Please take a moment to look at your safety pamphlet. The charge for looking at this pamphlet is 3 dollars. The charge for looking at this pamphlet and putting it back quickly is 4 dollars. Should there be a rapid change in cabin pressure, oxygen masks will automatically drop from the compartment above your seat free of charge. Place the mask over your nose and mouth, and to start the flow of oxygen, pay your flight attendant 75 dollars and 63 cents. As always, exact change is appreciated.
Now I know that some of you are still concerned about getting there safely. Enjoy your flight!