XXXVIII - VIDEO Seinfeld The comeback

SEINFELD The comeback

KRAMER: Did you take this out of the garbage?

JERRY: Yeah, it's still got some spring in the strings.

KRAMER: Oh, Jerry, this is a piece of junk. How are you gonna be the executor of my living will?

KRAMER: You see? You can't let go.

JERRY: Trust me, Kramer. Given the legal opportunity, I will kill you.

KRAMER: I wish I could believe you. Hey, Elaine, do you have some free time tomorrow afternoon?

ELAINE: Me?

KRAMER: Yeah, because you're perfect. You're a calculating, cold-hearted businesswoman. And when there's dirty work to be done, you don't mind stomping on a few throats.

ELAINE: Oh, ho, c'mon.

NURSE: Doctor, how's her coma?

DOCTOR: Oh, exactly the same.

DOCTOR: Wait a minute, she's coming out of the coma.

DOCTOR: Mrs Allbright, can you hear me? Are you okay?

ALLBRIGHT: I feel so rested and refreshed. Get me a toothbrush.

KRAMER: Hey. Oh, Jerry, listen uh, you know, I saw the rest of that movie, The Other Side Of Darkness? The coma lady wakes up at the end.

GEORGE: Ohh, I wanted to see that. Thanks. Thanks a lot.

KRAMER: I didn't know it was possible to come out of a coma.

JERRY: I didn't know it was possible not to know that.

GEORGE: How was Eric Roberts as the husband?

KRAMER: Oh, unforgettable.

GEORGE: Oww.

KRAMER: I gotta find Elaine. Y'know, she's gonna pull my plug.

KRAMER: Shellbach.

KRAMER: Racquet.

ELAINE: Hi. How's he doing?

JERRY: He's been sleeping a lot. He's still groggy.

ELAINE: Oh. I thought a movie might cheer him up. I got him a Gene pick.

JERRY: What happened to Vincent?

ELAINE: I'm kinda off of him. Uh, outlet?

ELAINE: Ah.

KRAMER: Waahhh!!!

XXXV - VIDEO Fraiser talks like a guy

Bulldog: Can you stop being a shrink and just be like a guy.

Frasier: Like a guy... Like a guy...  SCREW HER!

Bulldog: What?

Frasier: Yeah, you don't need her.  She's trash!

Bulldog: Yeah, that's right.

Frasier: You're better off without her, we both are!

Bulldog: I like the sound of this.

Frasier: Yeah, so do I. Unattractive yet liberating, rather like the one and only time I wore a European bathing suit. I'm sorry. SHE'S A BITCH!

Bulldog: Hey, she wasn't even that hot.

Frasier: You're right. All she did was save you the trouble of having to dump her!

Bulldog: I never thought about that.

Frasier: There you go!

Bulldog: I'm feeling a little better, Doc.

Frasier: That's right.

Bulldog: Thanks.  It's great talking to you.

Frasier: Likewise.  You know I could talk like this for another thirty seconds.

Frasier: She was nothing!  She was less than nothing!

Bulldog: Yeah, right.

Frasier: Tomorrow you're gonna find someone even hotter, and you know what you're gonna do?

Bulldog: What?

Frasier: You're gonna have your fun with her, and then you're gonna DUMP her just for the hell of it!

Bulldog: Yeah, DUMP HER!

Frasier: And you know what?!  You're not gonna feel bad about it at all! And you know why?!  BECAUSE WE'RE GUYS!  AND THAT'S WHAT GUYS DO!!!!!

Niles: Distressing news, Frasier: Francois gave away our table.

Frasier: SCREW HIM!

Niles: Excuse me?

Frasier: You heard what I said!  We don't need him or his stinky little restaurant!  There are plenty of restaurants in town! I say we go somewhere we don't even need a reservation!

Frasier: Thank you, Niles.

Niles: You're welcome.

Frasier: Yes, you know, if we hasten, perhaps we can catch the first seating at Cigar Volante.

XXXVII - VIDEO Game of thrones "Your dancing master"

Syrion Forel: You are late, boy. Tomorrow you will be here at midday.

Arya Stark: Who are you?

Syrion Forel: Your dancing master, Syrio Forel. Tomorrow you will catch it. Now pick it up. That is not the way, boy. This is not a great sword that is needing two hands to swing it.

Arya Stark: It's too heavy.

Syrion Forel: It is heavy as it needs to be to make you strong. Just so. One hand is all that is needed. Now you are standing all wrong. Turn your body side face. So. You are skinny. That is good. The target is smaller. Now the grip... Let me see. The grip must be delicate.

Arya Stark: What if I drop it?

Syrion Forel: The steel must be part of your arm. Can you drop part of your arm? No. Nine years Syrio Forel was first sword to the Sealord of Braavos. He knows these things. You must listen to me, boy.

Arya Stark: I'm a girl.

Syrion Forel: Boy, girl... You are a sword, that is all. That is the grip. You are not holding a battle-axe. You are holding...

Arya Stark: a needle.

Syrion Forel: Just so. Now we will begin the dance. Remember, child,
this is not the dance of the Westeros we are learning... the knight's dance, hacking and hammering. This is the Bravo's dance...the water dance. It is swift and sudden. All men are made of water, do you know this? If you pierce them, the water leaks out and they die. Now you will try to strike me. Up! Dead. Dead. Very dead. Come. Again, faster.

XXXVI - VIDEO Seinfeld "The seven"

GEORGE: I got a great name for our kids. A real original. You wanna hear what it is? Huh, you ready?

SUSAN: Yeah.

SUSAN: What is that? Sign language?

GEORGE: No, Seven.

SUSAN: Seven Costanza? You're serious?

GEORGE: Yeah. It's a beautiful name for a boy or a girl...especially a girl. Or a boy.

SUSAN: I don't think so.

GEORGE: What, you don't like the name?

SUSAN: It's not a name. It's a number.

GEORGE: I know. It's Mickey Mantle's number. So not only is it an all-around beautiful name, it is also a living tribute.

SUSAN: It's awful. I hate it!

GEORGE: Well, that's the name!

SUSAN: Oh no it is not!No child of mine is ever going to be named Seven!

GEORGE: Alright, let's just stay calm here! Don't get all crazy on me!

JERRY: Seven? Yeah, I guess I could see it. Seven.Seven periods of school, seven beatings a day. Roughly seven stitches a beating, and eventually seven years to life. Yeah, you're doing that child quite a service.

GEORGE: Yes I am. I defy you to come up with a better name than Seven.

JERRY: Alright, let's see. How about Mug? Mug Costanza. That’s original. Or uh, Ketchup?Pretty name for a girl.

GEORGE: Alright, you having a good time there?

JERRY: I got fifty right here in the cupboard. How about Biscuit? Pimento.Gherkin.Sauce.Maxwell House.

GEORGE: Alright already!! This is a very key issue with me, Jerry. I had this name for a long time.

XXXIV - VIDEO Seinfeld The this and the that

JERRY: Why shouldn't we be able to do that once in a while if we want to?

ELAINE: I know.

JERRY: I mean, really, what is the big deal? We go in there. We're in there for a while. We come right back out here. It's not complicated.

ELAINE: It's almost stupid if we didn't.

JERRY: It's moronic.

ELAINE: Absurd!

JERRY: Of course, I guess, maybe, some little problems could arise.

ELAINE: We, there are always a few.

JERRY: I mean, if anything happened, and we couldn't be friends the way we are now, that would be really bad.

ELAINE: Devastating.

JERRY: Because this is very good.

ELAINE: And that would be good.

JERRY: That would be good too. The idea is to combine the this and the that. But this cannot be disturbed.

ELAINE: Yeah, we just wanna take this and add that.

JERRY: But of course, we'd have to figure out a way to avoid the things that cause the little problems. Maybe some rules or something.

ELAINE: Huh.

JERRY: For example, now, I call you whenever I'm inclined and vice versa.

ELAINE: Right.

JERRY: But if we did that, we might feel a certain obligation to call.

ELAINE: Well why should that be? Oh, I have an idea. I have an idea. No calls the day after that.

JERRY: Beautiful. Let's make it a rule.

ELAINE: All right, sir.

JERRY: Now here's another little rule.

ELAINE: Yeah.

JERRY: When we see each other now, we retire to our separate quarters. But sometimes, when people get involved with that, they feel pressure to sleep over. When that is not really sleep. Sleep is separate from that. And I don't see why sleep got all tied up and connected with that.

ELAINE: Okay, okay. Rule Number Two. Spending the night is optional!

JERRY: Wellnowwe'regettin' somewhere.

XXXIII - VIDEO About idioms

No, I won't do it. I can't believe you want me to lie to my students. It's October and you want
me to pretend it's New Year's Eve! Ridiculous! You'll what? Fire me?!

Hello. I'm a very interesting and intelligent and excited man.

And that's because it's my favourite day of the year – New Year's Eve.

And to celebrate, I've come down to the River Thames in London to see the famous annual
fireworks!

Yes, it's almost midnight and time to celebrate.

What do you mean I'm pulling the wool over your eyes?!

In English, if someone is trying to prevent you from discovering the truth about something,
you can say they're 'pulling the wool over your eyes'.

Pulling the wool over someone's eyes.

I'm so pleased I've got my hat on. It's so cold and snowy on New Year's Eve.

I'd better put some warmer clothes on.

What?

You think I'm taking you for a ride.

In English, if someone is trying to make you believe something that isn't true, you can say
they're 'taking you for a ride'.

Taking you for a ride.

I'm so excited. It's getting really busy down here.

Voice: No it isn't.

There are so many people around getting ready to celebrate the New Year and watch the
fireworks.

Voice: No there aren't.

It's dark now and cold.

Voice: liar.
It's almost midnight and 2012.

Voice: It's October 2011. I wasn't born yesterday!

In English, if someone is telling you a very obvious lie, you can say 'I wasn't born yesterday'.

I wasn't born yesterday.

10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1! Happy New Year! Hurrah! Look at the fireworks! Hurrah! (Sings a
song…) Oh, ah, beautiful fireworks!

XXXII - VIDEO Steve Vai & Steve Vai

Why not learn English while listen to nice music :)

Introduction:

Greeting folks, Steve Vai here and I’d like to tell you about a new distortion pedal that I’ve designed with Ibanez. Now, I know there’s a lot going on in the world right now with, you know, the american dollar being so weak and gas prices being so high and presidential elections right around the corner and all that stuff but hey, we don’t have to worry about any of that stuff because I have a new distortion pedal, and here it is. Now, this is no ordinary distortion pedal, it’s actually two separate distortion pedals in one and It’s called the Jemini, you know, since I’m a Jemini and since I own the twins and designed a guitar called the Gem. I’d like to invite one of my favorite people in the whole world to come out here and to help me tell you about this new pedal. 

...

More on Steve at: 

XXXI - VIDEO Frasier Get out

FROM EPISODE 11-02 A MAN, A PLAN, AND A GAL: JULIA

Martin: Go.

Julia: A ball. A balloon. Oh, an apple! A bomb. The circle. Oh, the circle of life.

Julia: Uh, I don't know.

Julia: Yeah, I'm looking at it. Well, maybe if you point to it harder, I'll get it. Give me something to work with, dummy!

Julia: Oh, a hat! The Cat in the Hat! Uh, Abraham Lincoln!

Martin: Time!

Julia: Oh, "From Here to Eternity," I got that in!

Frasier: No, that's, that's not it.

Julia: What the hell is it?

Frasier: It's a cherry with a mustache and, uh, wearing a sombrero. It's "Cherry Garcia."

Julia: Oh, my God, that is the worst drawing I've ever seen. [She's right about that.] I mean, even these cheaters [indicating Niles and Daphne] wouldn't have gotten that one.

Daphne: Cheaters?

Julia: I saw you guys mouthing at each other. And I think Father Time here cut us off a little early, too. Here, give me that pen, I'll show you how it's done. Sit down. Oh, my God, I mean, this painting is just...

Frasier: Oh, dear God!

Frasier: Are you all right?

Julia: Yes, I just, I think I need to splash a little cold water on my face.

Frasier: Right, right, here, let me just, uh, walk you to the powder room.

Julia: I'm sorry.

Frasier: No, that's okay, you just take as long as you need.

Frasier: Shame on you! That woman couldn't breathe, and the three of you just sat there!

Martin: You didn't exactly jump in yourself.

Frasier: That's because I mistook her choking for a sarcastic comment on my Pictionary play! You, on the other hand, were content to let the woman I love die before your eyes, THAT'S RIGHT, I SAID I LOVE HER!!

Niles: Oh, knock it off, Frasier, you don't love her. You're just trying to talk yourself into honoring your ill-advised commitment.

Frasier: How dare you presume to know the workings of my heart? You can’t understand the kind of feelings Julia and I have for one another. You might as well ask me to describe the essence of music or the, the color of starlight!

Julia: Nice towels, Frasier, you'd think a couple of old ladies lived here.

Frasier: Get out.

Julia: Excuse me?

Frasier: I said get out!

Julia: I'm sorry, have you just lost your mind?

Frasier: No, that happened earlier when we slept together!

Julia: Are you breaking up with me?

Frasier: You're damn right I am!

Julia: I want my purse!

Frasier: And I, my hand towel!!

Julia: I can't believe this. You're actually kicking me out?

Frasier: Do you want me to draw you a picture?!

Julia: We'd be here all night!

Frasier: Get out!

XXX - VIDEO Do you have an accent?

XXIX - VIDEO Cheching in at a hotel

Lisa: Wow! I've never stayed in a place this fancy before!

D: Welcome to the Hula-Hula hotel. How can I help you?

Mary: We'd like to check in. Our names are Lisa and Mary Lee. We have a reservation for a double room.

D: Let's see ... Yes, we have a suit for you on the third floor, room three-two-one, for five nights.

Mary: Great! Oh and my sister's luggage was lost. Please tell us if it's delivered to the hotel.

D: Of course. I'll need your passport, and please sign this guest card.

Mary: Ok. Here you are. Oh, and what is the checkout time?

D; Eleven A.M. And if you need any assistance, please see our concierge or call the front desk. Here are your keys.

D: Hello. What can I do for you?

Lisa: We just arrived at the hotel. Can you tell us what restaurants you have?

D: The Hula-Hula Restaurant is open now, there's also a complimentary breakfast buffet each morning.

Mary: Great! Can we have a wake-up call at eight tomorrow?

D: No problem. What's your room number?

Lisa: We're in room three-two-one.

D: OK. Be sure to try our gym on the second floor. There is also a business lounge on the third floor, with computers, copiers and fax machines.

Mary: How about a nice place to relax here?

D: The beach is just down the street. And out in back, we have a swimming pool, Jacuzzi and sauna.

Mary: Great! Now we have an excuse to shop, to buy swimming suits!

D: This is the front desk. How can I help you?

Lisa: We're having some problems in room three-two-one. Can you send someone up, right away?

D: Certainly. What seems to be the problem?

Lisa: Well, my sister spilled some juice on the bed sheets ...

D: Oh, dear! We'll send a maid up with fresh linen as soon as possible.

Lisa: Well, my sister tried to clean the sheets, but the water wouldn't stop. Now there's water everywhere ...

D: Oh, no! We'll send the janitor and the plumber, too!

Lisa: And then my sister slipped on the wet tile and hurt her toe.

D: Oh, we'll also send a doctor. (Lisa screams.) What's the matter?

Lisa: And send an electrician, as well. The lights just went out!

D: Hello. What can I do for you?

Lisa: We'd like to check out of our room. Here are the keys. It's room number three-two-one.

D: Did you take anything from the refrigerator?

Mary: Yes, we had two colas. We also ordered room service once.

D: Ok. Your five-night total comes to three hundred and ten dollars. Are you paying by cash or credit card?

Mary: Credit card. Here you are. Oh, and can you call an airport taxi for us?

D: I'll do that right away. (A moment later) Please sign on the dotted line.

Lisa: (To Mary) you bought so much, we can barely carry it all. I'm glad they lost my suitcases.

D: Oh, I almost forgot. Ms. Lee, someone dropped this off for you this morning.

Lisa: What? Hey, that's my luggage!

XXIII - VIDEO The truth about the economy

What's the problem with the economy? Let me connect the dots and show you the big picture in less than two minutes fifteen seconds.

Dot 1 - Since 1980 the American economy has doubled in size but adjusting for inflation most people wages have barely increased.

Dot 2 - Where did all that money go? Almost all the gains have gone to the super rich. The top one percent used to take home about ten percent of total income now it takes home more than twenty percent and the super rich have forty percent of the nation's entire wealth.

Dot 3 - All this money at the top has given the super rich lots of political power, especially power to lower their tax rates. Before 1980 the top tax rate was over seventy percent now it's down to thirty five percent and much of their income is capital gains subject to only a fifteen percent tax. According to the IRS the richest four hundred Americans pay only seventeen percent.

Dot 4 - This means huge budget deficits. Tax revenues are down to less than fifteen percent of the total economy, the lowest in sixty years. So public services are being cut at all levels of government. Our kids are being crowded into classrooms with more and more other children. Roads, bridges, levies, health care, safety nets, they're all being sacrificed.

Dot 5 - Instead of joining together for better wages and jobs many people are so scared that they're competing with other working people for the scraps that are left behind. So we get union versus non-union, public employee versus private, native born versus immigrants.

Dot 6 - The vast middle-class, unable to borrow as it could before, no longer has the purchasing power need to get the economy growing again. Which means continued high unemployment and an anemic recoverty.

So you see the big picture? The only way we can have a strong economy is with a strong middle-class.

XXVII - VIDEO How to Answer "Tell me about yourself"

XXVI - VIDEO Five common mistakes in spoken English

XXV - VIDEO How are you? & What is your job?

How are you?

What is your job?

XXIV - VIDEO Airlines safety parody

Keeping our passengers safe in the air

Welcome aboard. It's 2007, and we are more committed to your safety then ever. And that's why we'd like you to pay careful attention to this important safety information. 

["No Smoking", "Fasten Seat Belt", and "Life Jacket Under Seat" are shown]

First, please make sure that your seatbelt is securely fastened. Seatbelts can be purchased for 5 dollars. To fasten, insert the metal fitting into the buckle and tighten the buckle by pulling the loose end away from you. To release, purchase a release flap for 7 dollars. Now I know what you're thinking: we've never paid for seatbelts before! ...Once we've reached our cruising altitude, your flight attendant may or may not go down the aisle with snacks. If she chooses to, each passenger will be given a single peanut. Lavatories are located at the front and the rear...of the airport. Please take a moment to look at your safety pamphlet. The charge for looking at this pamphlet is 3 dollars. The charge for looking at this pamphlet and putting it back quickly is 4 dollars. Should there be a rapid change in cabin pressure, oxygen masks will automatically drop from the compartment above your seat free of charge. Place the mask over your nose and mouth, and to start the flow of oxygen, pay your flight attendant 75 dollars and 63 cents. As always, exact change is appreciated.

Now I know that some of you are still concerned about getting there safely. Enjoy your flight!

XXIII - VIDEO The legal battle between Apple and Samsung

From the VOA channel

XXII - VIDEO The alphabet

XXI - VIDEO Twitter in plain English

TWITTER IN PAIN ENGLISH

So, what are you doing?  It's one of the first questions we often ask friends and family.  Even if the answer is just mowing the lawn or cooking dinner, it's interesting to us.  It makes us feel connected and a part of each other's lives.

Unfortunately, most of our day-to-day lives are hidden from people that care. Booooo! Of course, we have email and blogs and phones to keep us connected, but you wouldn't send an email to tell a friend you're having coffee - your friend doesn't need to know that.
But - what about people that want to know about the little things that happen in your life?  Real life happens between blog posts and emails and now there's a way to share.

This is Twitter in Plain English.

Thanks to Twitter, it's possible to share short, bite-sized updates about your life and follow the updates of people that matter to you via the web. Yaay! Here's how it works.

Meet Carla.  She's addicted to her mobile phone, reads blogs every day and has contacts all over the world.  

She heard about Twitter and was skeptical - she's already overloaded with information.  After some of her friends couldn't stop talking about it, she gave it a try.

She signed up for free and saw that Twitter pages look a little like blogs with very short posts. Each page is personal and has updates from friends.

She got started by looking up her friends on Twitter.com.  After finding a few, she clicked "follow" to starting seeing their updates on her Twitter page.

Within hours, she began to see a different side of people she chose to follow.  She didn't know that Steven in Seattle was a baseball fan, or that Julia in London was reading a new investment book.  The little messages from Twitter painted a picture of her friends, family and co-workers that she'd never seen before - it was the real world.

Soon she became a fan of Twitter and posted updates every day.  Her friends followed her updates and learned that she recently discovered a passion for Van Halen. They could see Carla's life between blog posts and emails.

For Carla, Twitter worked because it was simple. The updates were always short - under 140 characters each.  Plus, she could post updates and follow her friends using the Twitter website, software on her browser, a mobile phone or instant messages. She wasn't tied to one device.

By asking members to answer the question "what are you doing?" Carla found that Twitter brought her closer to people that matter to her - 140 characters at a time.  

Find out what your friends are doing at Twitter.com.

I'm Lee LeFever and this has been Twitter in Plain English.

XX - VIDEO RSS in plain English

RSS IN PLAIN ENGLISH

The Internet has problems. Technorati says there are 50 million weblogs, and as you can see, it's going up. This is overwhelming. Today's show is about a new and efficient way to keep up with all this cool stuff that's happening on the Internet.

I'm going to talk about two ways that you can keep up with what's happening on the Web. There's the old slow way - Boo. Then, there's the new and fast way - Yay! Here's the difference between the new and the old way.

This is you, and here are your favorite websites. You log on to your computer, and you're looking for something new. So you go out to your favorite blogs. Is there anything new? No. You go out to your favorite news sites. Is there anything new? Nope. Every time you look for something new and its not there, you've wasted valuable time. This is the old way.

Now, let's consider the new and fast way, which is simply taking these arrows and turning them the other way. This means the new things from blogs and new things from your news sites come to you instead. It's like Netflix compared to the video store.

So, what we're talking about is using a single website that becomes your home for reading all the new stuff that's coming from your favorite websites. There are two steps to getting started.

The first step is you need a home for reading new posts. This is a website called a reader. It is free and all you need is an account. I use a site called Google Reader. It looks like this. My favorite sites are listed on the left, and on the right I can scroll through all the new posts from my favorite sites in a single place. So, to complete step one, you need to sign up for a reader. Google Reader, Bloglines, Newsgator, My Yahoo! are good places to start.

Step number two, is to set up a connection between your reader and your favorite websites. Setting up these connections is called subscribing, and it's really important. Nearly every blog and news site offers the ability for you to subscribe so updates in these sites show up here in your reader.

To set up these subscriptions, you just need to look for funny little icons. This is the standard one using the standard orange color. You may also see these. These little icons say, "Hey look! Subscribe to me! I can save you time!" Once you find one of these buttons on your favorite site, click on it and the page that appears will give you everything you need to subscribe.

After you click that button, one of two types of pages will appear. This is one that provides one click access to subscribing in your reader. The other page you're likely to see looks like this - with code on it. If you see this page, copy the address at the top of the page, go to your reader and look for a link that says "Add Subscription" or "Add Feed." Click on that, and paste the address into your reader.

So, once you've added your subscriptions and the connection is there, new posts begin arriving in your reader and you'll see why this is the new, faster way to read the web. It's addictive, so be careful!

A quick recap. There are two things you need to do. Number one is go sign up for a reader. Number two, go to your favorite websites, click on the icon and subscribe.

I'm Lee LeFever and this has been RSS in Plain English.

XIX - VIDEO Seinfeld Bloopers

Great show... great bloopers: